When one has a birthday, one tends to reflect upon the present, the future, and sometimes more frequently, the past. Today is such a day.
Having children at various ages often throws me back into my past, to compare and contrast the life of my girls at their current ages to my own life when I was perhaps their age. What was I doing? Who was I? What was I thinking? Are my kids and I similar or different at that age?
Currently, my girls are 11, 10, 7 and 5.
A milestone in my life popped up in my head today… when I was seven years old, I beat my Uncle Billy in a game of chess. As my mother recalls, “He was furious!” I imagine he probably was… my Uncle Billy is certainly the type that is very competitive (whether he is playing cards, billiards, whatever…), and I can’t imagine he would ever “mail it in” for the benefit of his seven year old nephew. I am quite sure he wanted to win, and when he didn’t, he showed his frustration.
I remember it like it was yesterday (and not actually thirty six years ago). I was seven, and Grandpa Joe had just bought me a beginning player’s chess set. I remember the chess set well (in fact, I remember it so well, that within the last year or two, I acquired one just like it, so I could teach my own girls how to play the game). It was a chess set that displayed the possible move directions and move ranges of each piece right there on the front of the piece, so the beginner can be reminded how and where the piece could move. It was actually pretty neat, actually, a nice way to teach and remind beginners about the different pieces.
Anyway, Grandma Roma thought Grandpa Joe was crazy. She thought there was no way a seven year old could pick up the complicated and strategic game of chess, let alone even enjoy it. Well, apparently, Grandpa Joe thought I was a seven year old that Grandma Roma might not have seen, and I picked up the game right away.
About a week after having received the set from Grandpa Joe, Uncle Billy had come by and Grandpa Joe suggested that he play me in a game of chess. I remember it vividly. We lived on King Street in Dorchester. I remember setting up the game in the living room area, I think on some kind of an ottoman or something. I think I was sitting on the floor while playing, while Uncle Billy was sitting in a chair.
I don’t remember the details of the game, I don’t remember how long we played. All I remember is that I beat him, fair and square. Even Grandpa Joe and Grandma Roma knew that Uncle Billy wouldn’t have “let me win”, so just as much as Uncle Billy was furious, Grandpa Joe and Grandma Roma were delighted and amused and couldn’t stop laughing, half praising me, half ridiculing Uncle Billy.
Surely, this was one of those early moments in my life when maybe it was becoming clear that I might turn into a pretty smart kid.
At times, although I don’t usually say such things out loud, I often find myself looking at my children, comparing their ages to when I was their age, and saying things in my head like, “Hey, when I was your age, I beat my Uncle Billy in a game of chess!”
Of course, this is completely unfair, and perhaps even irrelevant, which is why I say them in my head, and not out loud. I have actually used the same chess set that we acquired in the last year or two to try to teach Sydney and Haley, but we have never really spent that much time with it, only one or two sessions, however brief, so they simply hadn’t been exposed to it like I had. Very simply, life seems so busy that we seldom have time to sit and relax and play a little game of checkers or chess or whatever. But it is always interesting and fun and reflective to look at my girls and their current ages, and to recall what I was doing when I was their age.
I guess this reflection is part of having children, and part of having another birthday.
Happy Birthday to Me!!!
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